A Note

Lately my dreams have been very realistic, despite seeing Mother. Most of the dreams I've had recently are very much linked to the events of the day. When I interact with Mother, I acknowledge that she has passed away, and mention this to her. At one point she rolled her eyes at me when I told her that she had passed.

Also I've been talking so much in my sleep that I wake myself up. Nearly every time I wake up talking I have my arm extended as though I were reaching for something. Also I have been waking up screaming. Almost every night. It seems as though I have a sharp pain in the back of my mouth which triggers the scream. When awake I have absolutely no pain in these areas.

Mother Dementia

At 4703, Mother is mad at me for some reason. She has dementia and can't manage the home herself. I am with three people that are part of a "support group" of some sort, and I'm the new member. They are with me the entire time. We leave for a while, then come back home. Mother is trying to close the garage door. I lead her into her bedroom to get her to lie down and take a nap. Eventually she forgives me, but is still acting strangely. I break down in front of the other "support" members. They take me in, but hesitantly. I am inconsolable.

English Library

[Most probably influenced by Temazepam]
First part. I am in England. I cross a soccer field to an underground library. At the entrance to the library there is a single door five or six feet below me. Upon entering the door there is a very narrow stairway to my right; poorly lit. The stairs to exit are wider than the ones to enter. A central handrail of polished chrome. Instructions on the wall. You must grasp the handrail with your left hand and take one step forward. After the first step something takes over and guides you down to the next floor; very quick and smooth. At the bottom of the stairs is a loop of the same handrail opposite the end of the staircase's handrail, used to brace one's self just after being propelled by the staircase.

I go in to ask about getting a library card. It takes three weeks. I announce that I'm only in the country for a month and a half. The lady behind the counter immediately says she trusts me and issues me a temporary card so that I may check out books immediately. I leave the library using the same staircase, but using the stairs to exit there is no propulsion. One uses it as normal.

I go to cross back over the soccer field, but this time I notice that there is a racetrack before me. In the middle someone has been hit by the scores of racing cars. I briefly notice it, but concentrate on getting back across, past the field to some abandoned homes in the distance. A female is in my company. We walk through the abandoned homes where several people are doing illicit drugs. We have hidden a medium-sized drab green suitcase in a dishwasher in one of the homes, containing a large amount of marijuana. We have a disagreement about the pot. Somewhere among these abandoned homes is a bar.

Jump to 4703. It is dark. I am waiting for Mother to come back home. I am very upset and crying. Mother comes home drunk and berates me. Generally she is very unkind to me. The dark envelopes me.

Jump to Mayo Meadows. Someone is chasing after me. I walk into one of the shops in Mayo Meadows. I go into a storage room and climb up to the drop-ceiling. Me and the woman who runs the shop try to find the best way to avoid being caught. I find a ladder that eventually takes me up to the roof, but I have to tear away at the ceiling's material. I don't know if I ever made it.

Mrs White

Dream about Mrs White, wife of Mr Dallas White who lived next door to me on Vandalia. Mr White had long since passed away. I was apparently very close to Mrs White, and was trusted enough to enter her home, whether she was there or not. The door was always unlocked. Rooms were gray-green, very clean; very much like a 'grandma's' house would be. At one point I find a green leather purse in the grass between her house and mine. I picked it up and set it on her front porch. Several times we watched DVDs together; mostly art films from my personal collection.

Two-Ended School

Tulsa, 15th & Harvard, tinged with dread. In a truck with Richard. Drive to a shoddy part of town where he has to work. Leaves me the truck. I drive south on high wheels. Arrive at a school, looking for a particular room number. The room number appears at both ends of the school. Jump to teacher's lounge. I am supposed to check in to do work that Richard was supposed to do. Eventually I am told I am not needed for the day. I am relieved.

Siouxsie Concert

My bedroom at 4703. Looks like I moved 'back in'. Kept turning on lamps; many bulbs burnt out. One blue light. Enter Greta. I give her a hug and apologize. She is very hairy. Fast forward a few hours. I left Greta in my room. I wind up calling Jason Hill. He is working but will be at my place soon. Him and I are going to a Siouxsie concert.

Cut to the concert hall. We have to get tickets and be on time. Jason and I go through the offices at the concert hall. He knows which doors to go through. We pass an office where Siouxsie is getting ready. A man tries to shoo us off. Jason and I use several elevators that are hidden in the walls, but Jason knows how to summon them. Last shot is us getting in line for the concert. Lots of people dressed in black and white.

Hugs

In dire need of updating here. Most recent dream was me and Mother at home. We were talking in the kitchen at 4703. All I really remember about it is that Mother gave me a very big, long hug. I needed this desperately (in real life), as I have been missing her a lot recently.

Mother recently...

Lately I've been having several dreams featuring Mother. A few nights ago we were in the driveway of 4703 and she handed me a black leather box. I open it and found a silver watch inside. I try it on and it fits well, but I say that one link in the band needs to be removed.

Last night I had another dream of Mother where I woke her up in her bedroom. Snowing heavily outside, but it quickly ceased. She surprises me with tickets to some animal show. Jump to a picnic table where I'm loading a bowl of pot. My father shows up and tries to bother me and Mother, but after some yelling, he goes away.

In waking life I feel like Mother is angry with me. I don't know why other than how I spent my inheritance.